Sunday, January 19, 2014

Minds and Hands


I am a child of a child of the Depression.  Growing up I learned to be as frugal as possible.  Stale bread was always turned into breadcrumbs if it hadn’t already become moldy. Clothes were always dried outside and never in expensive dryers. Home repairs were at least attempted until the job either got too complicated or way too expensive to fix on your own.  No one hired painters.  If you wanted your room painted, it was done as a group project bright and early on a Saturday morning.  Children were for the woodwork and adults the ceilings. The walls were up for grabs. No exceptions.

Yard work was always hard work.  Thank goodness we lived in the city and our yard was not that big.  My kindly uncle who lived down the street taught me. He was quite the character: part railroad worker, part classical reader, big time gambler and amazing gardener.  His training (for all disciplines) came from the Civilian Conservation Corps, the job program started in the 1930’s for young unemployed men.  Hours I would spend with him and his garden as he regaled in his stories that always started with “Jackson, when I was in the CCC camps…” I have no idea where he got that nickname from but he was the only one who called me that.  I planted things I would never eat, yet delighted in cultivating. Rhubarb, tomatoes, horseradish, and zucchini were planted in his “victory” garden. I handled real fish heads that legend has it the Native Americans used to condition their crops. (Or at least that’s what he told me.) I learned how to save the seeds for the next harvest and to sun dry tomatoes on the back porch way before they were sold in expensive oil in specialty markets. And who could forget "zombie geraniums?"

I cringe when my children leave a room and do not turn the light out or leave the television on. I hate when someone has turned the thermostat to 72ºF.  I love a brisk 62-65º.  My children make fun of my sweater collection not realizing it was a necessity growing up. Surprisingly when my daughter came home from college this Christmas, she raided my sweater collection. I delight in relatively recent recycling trends although I feel my family had been doing it for decades.  Paper bags became book covers, or if we were really fancy, left over “Sanitas” that graced the many walls of our aged urban Victorian. The old adage "Waste not-want not" certainly was strongly advised.

Who could forget my mother’s “Depression soup?”  It was her comfort food on a cold winter’s day. It was simply warm milk, leftover noodles of any shape or variety and salt and pepper.  It certainly can fill an empty belly.

These are lessons that we have gotten away from in the last generation.  Simple items. Simple food.  Simple chores.  You lose a side of yourself when you don’t know how to fix something, make something, grow something or even try.  Life doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive.  Not all manual labor is distasteful or without thought.  I have many friends ranging from an amazing internist who sews designer quilts to a highly regarded trial attorney who does cross-stitch. Necessary for warmth or decoration? Probably not. Good for mental health?  Ask them. We have not only intellect but also hands.  I love the motto of my sister’s alma mater MIT:  “Mens et Manus”.  Ah, Mr. Kaster what would I do without your sadistic Latin teachings?  “Mens et Manus” means “minds and hands”.  Life should be the right combination of the two in good times and bad.  Wonderful lessons from leaner times that we should think of today.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

God Bless You, Mr. Minivan

“You will last a lot longer, if you don't try to sing.” 
― Kurt VonnegutGod Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

The roads were slick yesterday with the Northeast snow.  Undeterred I went shopping anyway, songs blasting and heavily clothed in my minivan retreat.

The ride went smoothly, predictably and the stores not crowded.

It was the drive home that was a source of anxiety then relief.

Route 695 is my Circle of Willis, providing a major artery to all things Baltimore. 

Want to go to IKEA for high styled yet temporary furniture?  695 to 43.
Want to go to a horse show in Finksburg?  695 to 795.
Want to go to DC?  695 to 95 to 495 past the looming Mormon Temple that still gives me the heebie-jeebies.

God Bless you Mr. Minivan.


I have had more expensive cars in my home.  Ones with pimp-inspired rims.  Ones with not only heated seats but air-conditioned ones as well.  Ones with back massagers, laser speed control, and rear-view signal turns. I have even thought in a more fecund phase of getting a Tesla, which provides the practicality of an electric engine, amazing style and  (I admit) relief of a good old-fashioned middle-aged crisis.


But God bless you Minivan.


I saw the minivan on the right.  Same model as mine but a different color. Overturned but not damaged below the slope of the mildly elevated highway.  I could easily see how the accident occurred.  Someone probably wasn’t paying attention, lulled by singing along with Steely Dan at the top of his or her lungs or playing with the connected iPhone for a new playlist on iTunes.  Or perhaps reading a short text from home asking me what is for dinner.  Not paying the upmost of attention, they swerved to avoid the car in front, not fully realizing the slick conditions, veering off onto the shoulder, unguarded by rails.  Easy Peasy.  Simple, but costly in emotion, car repairs and future insurance premiums.

By the time I had approached, the vehicle was righted and emergency personnel clearing the shoulder.

The clinician inside of me always listens and waits for ambulances in accidents like these.  You can subtly tell the extent of injury by their rush to the scene.  No ambulance heard, then the crash victims walked away.   Hurried rush, there is usual serious life threatening injury.  An ambulance in view but no sirens, then the unfortunate has succumbed to the injuries. 

There was no ambulance called for this accident.  The passengers were safe and sound and standing, albeit distressed, by the side of the road.

No need for ambulances here. 

No need for further rubbernecking either.

Nothing to see.  Nothing to see.  Move along. Move along.

God Bless you Mr. Minivan.

I thank God sometimes for my practicality. Despite my often-perilous driving habits, it’s nice to know I have a safety net.

But it also has a DVD player that I admit I have never watched and a moon roof I have never opened. 

And that iPhone connector.

Options. Options.



Tuesday, December 10, 2013

The Quiet of the Snow

I like the quiet of the snow.
The giant white muffler on the engines of life
Falling gently
Stealthily
Making dawn clean and white

I like the slow crackle of fire
Then a shock against the flight
Logs shifting
Embers glowing
Making the room grow with delight

I like the laughter of children
Clothed in bundles beyond site
Playing gaily
Unconscientiously
Squealing as they put up a fight

There’s music in the silence
Often not listened to in the grind of daily life
Playing silently
Slowly
Only to be heard when the day is white


Thursday, December 5, 2013

Ms. Bloggy Pants

After more than a year of silence, I have resurrected this blog.  Not for any strokes of great brilliance and certainly not for any self-aggrandizement.  My plan was to quietly wile away with my opinions, vague literary references and thoughts of the day.

Life is getting tough again and I need to vent.

And my girls are sick of me arguing my odd ideas at the dinner table not knowing even a third of my references.

Peter Frampton?  Is he on Glee?

Wittgenstein?  A museum in NYC?

Psycho? Are you talking about your family again, Mom?

The references are endless yet their tolerance limited.

So here I go again. 


Thanks for outing me, Dr. C.

And the picture might as well be in Hutchinson, Mr. C.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Genies…..

The Food and Drug Administration had been kept waiting long enough. On November 22nd the FDA, America’s public-health regulator, sent a stern letter to 23andMe, a genetic-testing firm. Despite “more than 14 face-to-face and teleconference meetings, hundreds of e-mail exchanges and dozens of written communications”, the FDA complained, the company had not met its requests for data—nor even contacted it since May. The FDA ordered 23andMe to stop selling its testing service forthwith. The company has 15 days to respond to the regulator’s concerns. Fights over genetic testing, however, are sure to go on for a lot longer. ------The Economist November 30, 2013


Wouldn’t we all like to predict the future?  A crystal ball in hand with a gypsy by your side, you could see yourself older,  wiser and generally steering clear of mistakes, correcting what was wrong and live happily ever after?

23andme tried to do that.  But even with all the money Google had to offer, it just wasn’t true.


I had a sobering revelation this Thanksgiving morning.  My sister had found a new website to discover news from New York City and the surrounding area from the 1920’s and 30’s.

We had always wondered the fate of a Great Grand Uncle who was described as “Poor Johnny” because of his exposure to mustard gas in WW1. Family stories had always been incomplete and usually ended with just head bowing and shaking with the accompanied “Tsk, Tsk.”  We thought we made progress when we found he had been shuttled back and forth between several “National Old Soldiers Homes,” a progenitor of the current VA hospitals.


The new search revealed a more sobering fate.  Johnny had a severe criminal and mental history and probably died in an institution for the criminally insane in Beacon New York.  His sister had the same fate at Pilgrim State Hospital although a decade later.

Nature vs. Nurture.  Nurture vs. Nature.  Are we fated to bad outcomes?  Are we fated toward good outcomes? Does the genes that made Poor Johnny mad live inside me? Am I mad for revealing this in a public blog?


A friend of mine wrote a blog today about his diagnosis of Leiden V disease AFTER the diagnosis of a blood clot that eventually lodged in his lung.  He lamented about how the self-acclaimed best physicians in this world could have ( should have? would have?) diagnosed this before and put him on preventative blood thinners heading off  weeks of suffering and near death.

Are we to screen everyone for everything? Should we medically screen everything to head off potentially fatal disasters ?  How much would this cost? Would it be cheaper than suffering the fate of its consequences?

We can’t predict the future.  At least not yet. Not sure I want to.

דער מענטש טראַכט און גאָט לאַכט.

Der mentsh trakht un got lakht.

“Man plans, God laughs”, so says the Yiddish proverb.


On this Thanksgiving day we should heed the sage advice a friend of mine told me years ago which I think about every morning.  He is a friend that knows me more than most. I  was boring him with complaint after complaint until he finally caught me and said “I just thank God I wake up every morning.”


Simple advice, seldom heeded.


I thank God (whatever the word “God” entails) I woke up this morning and did my best to make this a wonderful day. I made a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner for my girls.  They made pie (yuk!). We ate,  dogs by our sides and a roaring fire in the adjoining living room.


I thank God for this day and wish for many more.  One morning at a time.

Genes, preconceived notions, gossip be damned.




Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Picture This


Time it was, and what a time it was, it was
A time of innocence, a time of confidences
Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph
Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you
        -Bookends Simon and Garfunkel


Yesterday, I received a letter from the parish where my late father’s funeral was held.  They celebrate a mass for all who have died in the past year.  As a tribute and as identification, they request a picture from the family to form a collage.  In fine Roman Catholic Church tradition, the obligatory donation is also requested.

I have many pictures of my father.  One even dates back to 1928, the year of his birth.  My grandmother is standing holding him as an infant with an old Jersey City tenement in the background.  My grandmother is wearing a short bob and laced up shoes as was stylish in the 1920’s. Her blue eyes beaming brightly as a lighter contrast in the black and white picture.

I have tons of other photos that chronicle his life.  A communion photo, rooftop photos,  a baseball photo, yearbook photos and his wedding photo.  There are progressive ones with just my sister as an infant, then me, then my brother. More recent ones are with his successive grandchildren, first with my sister's  boys then my girls. One showing him carving pumpkins with my girls some years ago is one of my favorites. The last photo taken was in the assisted living facility.  It is the saddest of all as it documents in full technicolor his sad decline.

But the one I chose was the most classic one of all.  It is from 1953.  It is a photo of him with a cigarette girl at the Latin Club in Manhattan at his bachelor party.  I have posted it on Facebook in the past.  It has become one of my favorites. In it, he is young, randy, impeccably dressed,  irreverent, so full of life, invincible against his smoking habit, and beaming at the very attractive cigarette girl.

Nice, Dad.


The Church didn’t much care for my irreverent joke at his mass.  I thought the old priest would have a stroke when I announced not the perfunctory “Readings from the Gospel of so and so.”  Instead I announced a  “Reading from the Book of George Carlin,” and waited for the laugh that didn't come.  Let's put it this way, good comedians know their audience.  I am clearly not a good comedian.  Despite my age, I was scolded by my aunt and frowned upon by many cousins.  

On some more shit lists yet again.

But my father would have gotten the joke.  I would have initially gotten a fist-pounding “Jesus Christ!” out of him but then a hysterical laugh. I can see him smirking as he shook his head, proud that his often irreverent style was not lost on the succeeding generation.

 I think he would get the joke of this picture too.

I sent it in this morning.

Miss you Dad.